Bouncing back from rejection

by Des Menz posted in Work, Life, and Yourself

We've all been there. Rejected, dumped from a team, missed selection on a team, an unsuccessful job interview, a failed career change, an unsuccessful product launch, poor sales of an info-product we've put so much effort into, no-one wanting to read what you have to say, nobody listening, no-one wanting your services. 

The list goes on.

If becoming resilient is not part of your character, if it's just too difficult to do, then it's time to pause … think! 


Re-train your thinking


We all need to learn how to bounce back and how to grind away. How to get stronger in the mind, how to think more creatively, how to develop greater resilience in our everyday lives, how to understand that sharing what you know is a pathway to success.  

Easier said than done you might say. But let's think about this.

How do we bounce back higher than before when disappointment and failure are thrown at us?

"Dusting ourselves off" is a great metaphor for confronting unwelcome times, especially when adversity has been a frequent, or perhaps just seldom, visitor. 

Some people experience these times more than others. Some people are able to handle these situations better than others. So, how and why is this?  

The act of doing, even when it stands the risk of failure, is far better and way more productive than not trying anything at all. You'll never know how successful you could become if you don't try another way of tackling a situation that has previously knocked you down. 

By doing things, we learn. By following the example of others, we learn. By experimenting, we learn. Keep doing things another way, and eventually answers will follow. Success will come. Persist, persevere.

Is this easy to do? It can be, and if the right mindset and the best way to think are put into practice, then all those adverse situations and unwelcome experiences can be managed 
and overcome.

Get up, rebound, readjust  

Disappointment is always going to be with us. It's a natural human emotion. The best way to deal with it is to bounce back higher than ever before. Adjust your vision, reaffirm your objectives,  and look to loftier heights. Avoid becoming re-active.

By limiting re-action we are able to control much better how the future can evolve. Being re-active is the antithesis of being pro-active. Think of it this way.

Being re-active means countering an adverse situation, but being pro-active is to focus on a new way (positive action). Which is going to be more beneficial? Dwelling on poor sales of
an info-product, or creating another one that will find the sweet spot that leads to success? 


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The simple formula

There's no magic in it. If you're down (but not out!) here's what you need to do.

checkbox type x 1Dust yourself off, experiment, and leave all those failures behind. Forget them. Erase all those negative thoughts. It's easier said than done, but you just have to make a small step forward to start getting that winning feeling again.

checkbox type x 1You have to fail fast, keep creating, find something that works, and keep going for it.
Try to assess whether what you're doing is a loser. If you don't identify losing positions quickly, then that will lead to failing slowly - and that can be painful. 

checkbox type x 1Borrow from others so that you can shortcut your education. There's nothing wrong with this; we all should learn from others. And learn from other people's failures, as well as their successes. Imitation is a form of flattery to the originator. If you're going to borrow ideas, make sure that they have your imprint on them. Make those ideas yours.

checkbox type x 1Don't underestimate the actions or activities you need to do to get the results you want. This means taking a heck of a lot more time on "selling", experimenting, and tweaking, than you thought you needed.

checkbox type x 1Do it differently, try a new approach. If what you're doing (whatever that may be) is not working, try another way. There are many approaches to solve a problem; find the 
one that will yield the best results for you.

To do all this is to keep grinding away. Nose to the grindstone, shoulder to the wheel.

Don't think of it as "work", because that becomes a re-active thought. 

Think of it as your freedom path - the one that leads to your financial independence and a new life. Project yourself into the future. Have patience.

Here are some examples.


I was reminded recently that the only thing we're able to control is our activity level

This is mostly true - we don't control our competition, nor the economy (except perhaps if we exercise our collective power at the ballot box), nor what other people think of us.

What we DO is way more important than just thinking about what we would like to do. 

Sure, we need to think and plan, but there's a big difference between these two - one is the act of DOING, the other is simply not doing anything. 

If you're thinking about writing that report or info-product, then do it. The time for thinking has finished. Take ACTION.

It doesn't matter if it doesn't work right away. Keep searching for your magic elixir. And when you crack it you'll know that you've found the "secret". Your secret recipe.

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